You’ve made a spark, and you’re ready to make a move to get things offline… But how do you make a smooth and safe transition from the app to the first date? Growing a budding relationship is a two-way street. Both parties must feel safe, confident, and enthusiastic about the date and romantic opportunities ahead. While there is no algorithm to guarantee you land a date IRL, we do, however, have a few tips to help make it a little less stressful.
Start Small
Instead of going with the bold option and asking for a date outright in the first message, try starting with some small talk by chatting back and forth for a few days. This is a low-key way to get a little more personal and learn about the other person without getting too intimate too soon. In this relationship phase, you can trust that communication and learning more about your spark is the priority if your spark would rather keep it on Higher Love while they better get to know you rather than giving you their phone number right off the bat.
Move Past Small Talk
Start building trust by having conversations that require a bit more depth. Be cautious not to overshare too fast, but by bringing up topics that speak to your values (think: family, work, passions, hobbies, etc.). Your spark will get to know you on a deeper level. If he or she feels similarly, this may signify that your connection is starting to build between the two of you.
Make Each Other Real
Another guaranteed way to create a sense of safety is to ask your spark if they’d enjoy talking over the phone or on FaceTime before meeting out in the wild real world. You’ll be amazed how much more approachable and easy to talk to someone becomes after hearing their voice or seeing their facial expressions virtually through FaceTime. Another added benefit? Both of you will likely feel less anxious when you physically meet for the first time. Especially when it comes to a first date, it is essential to feel at ease and entirely comfortable with who you are dating.
Suggest a Date
Once you’re confident that your spark shares your romantic interest, it’s time to take the leap! Propose a few first dates ideas that are tailored to your spark’s interests. You could further have them make the final call on where you go and when. You’ll show your thoughtfulness and good intentions while also having peace of mind knowing that it is a date that your spark will enjoy.
Above all, it is important to remember that some people like to move slower than others and never to pressure someone to do something they’re not ready for. For some, making the jump from pen-pal to IRL dating can require more trust. That is okay- if you focus on building the spark into a connection, you can trust it will all work out! Now get out there and make your first move; who knows where it could take you. 😉
